2012 Feline Newsletter
Sapphire (Saffy): This year has brought very mysterious things. I seem to be developing a cuddling relationship with the human kitten named Kari during the night. Plus, I hate how this cat named Vinny thinks he’s the boss. I mean, seriously, Vinny! Don’t even go there. Plus, Buddy is bullying Freia. I mean, who do these boys think they are? But I have my Sapphire sortie powers. All I need is this…Don’t make me snap my claws in a Z formation, booty rotation, leg, leg, paw, claw, boys you just got dissed. Girl power! Oh, yeah, and in the spring, Kari decided to play the violin. It made such a high pitched sound. I think kittens were stuck in there. When she put on a fancy dress that matched my eyes, the squeaking stopped. Peace! She was done with violin and elementary school. I sure do like her piano playing and singing, though. She’s even singing all these songs for a part she’s playing in this 6th grade middle school “Music Man” musical she talks about. In the summer, she was in “Midsummer Night’s Dream.” Her mom still plays the violin, but she does not squeak as much.
Freia: Sighhhhh. This year was a drag. First, I was so bored. Until this month, I just went from the cat bed to the porch to the window perch, ate and slept. My daily routine. Once in a while I hit a note on the piano on my way to the window. But then one day, everything changed. I was taken to the vet and the old red car they call the 1999 Ford Escort was so broken, that the door would not even close. I got shots. Ouch. Next time, there was a new silver car they call a Prius hybrid, a much more pleasant ride, but another trip to the vet. They gave me something and I fell asleep. When I woke up, I looked and I saw where there used to be a bump, it was now gone and my teeth quit hurting! I came home in a fishnet sweater which made me look like a “feline stripper”. Also, Kari decided to start playing this gold loud thing called a trumpet for her band at school. All I know is that when she blows into it, it makes an excruciating noise, as if somebody is stabbing a mouse. Also she’ll open something and some spit comes out. Kind of when I get really friendly at night and start drooling.
Vinny: This year has brought disaster and awesomeness. I have escaped this jail they call my backyard but somehow they figure out how to block the holes each time. I have a couple more routes that they still do not know about. This white stuff has fallen on the ground, making it hard to escape, plus it’s bitterly cold. Also, I think I’m in love. There is this new Siamese in the house who is so stuck up. It seriously makes my sandpaper tongue turn smooth. Kari is always singing and pointing at the screen and my eyes bug out, because I am on fire. How does she do that? Also, Inna has been coming home smelling of other cats. I think she’s going to a shelter and cheating on me! She even dressed the part on Halloween. But who cares. I still have Saffy, ahh, Saffy. Here she comes. “HEY HOTTIE!” I love the outdoors when I can get it. I see Jeff made this basket full of chains for the backyard that he loves to twirl discs at from different distances. He calls it disc golf and I love to watch him. He sure does seem to get mad when he doesn’t throw them in the basket. Humans are weird.
Buddy: This Siamese keeps picking on me, like she has sooo much girl power. Plus, I’m always sneezing and I hate it!!! Though Jeff plays nice music on the guitar and piano every day which calms me down. I loved this part of the year where there was a mouse in Kari’s room three times in one week. What a fine time. I did get famous. A lady crawled around our yard and took pictures just of me. Inna says it’s on a website for Maddie’s fund and that I am even in a video by their President. I just wish the family cooked more of that food, the stuff shaped like a triangle with red sauce and cheese. They had that for Kari’s birthday. I kept trying to have some but they push me away. Whazzup with that? Instead they feed us this stuff called cat food. I mean, I know I’m a cat, though the food the family or the staff eat is way better. But at least I can climb on the table and steal a piece now and then. You see, there’s that time between Inna going off to work for the University and Jeff going off to teach guitar lessons that I can snarf up whatever food crumbs they are foolish enough to leave out. If Kari’s home from school, she won’t pay attention. Yum! Human and cat food everyday. Perfect diet!
All four cats: They have not left much, only twice to some place called Menasha. We know it’s coming ‘cause all of a sudden there’s giant bowls of cat food and we can pig out. They are going for Christmas so it’s our chance to stuff ourselves and wreck the Christmas tree. I think we’re getting new toys for Christmas. We saw Inna sewing on her new sewing machine and filling the pockets with catnip. Could it get any better?!